Victorian Bush Fire 2009

BUSHFIRES AND BABIES

The Victorian bushfires have been a tragedy for all concerned. The Australian Association for Infant Mental Health wishes to remind people who care for babies and children that the very young are the most vulnerable members of our community.

It is sometimes thought that babies are too young to be affected by trauma around them. On the contrary babies and children who don’t yet have good language cannot make meaning of what is happening and can be seriously upset. This is especially so if their parents, because of their own distress, are not able to be available to comfort and help them make sense of what is that they are seeing and feeling. Babies and young children always rely on their parents to help them make sense of their world and their feelings. They are very sensitive to how their parents are feeling and reacting and if their parent is feeling stressed the baby will be stressed as well.

They often show how stressed and upset they are through their behaviour – they may become clingy and fearful not wanting to let their parents out of their sight.

Some babies may become aggressive or have difficult behaviour. Others may become over quiet and withdrawn. They may lose some skills, such as being toilet trained or they may start to wake again during the night.

 They need the people that they know and trust to help them feel safe again.. They need parents to be available and nurturing and they need the security of familiar routines. If babies are clingy after a trauma trying to push them away makes them feel more unsafe. If they misbehave they need parents to understand that they are dealing with feelings that are too much for them to manage alone. Meeting their needs at these times will build confidence for the future. Holding and loving them, and as much as possible providing familiar routines, will make them feel safe and support them over the tough times.

They may need to be with you as much as possible. If you have to leave them, make sure you say goodbye – even if they are upset this helps them to trust you. And reassure them that you will be back soon. Beware separating too soon. If your young child goes to kinder and day care it can be good to get back to the normal routine, but not if the child becomes distressed as the further separation can make things worse.

If you have to move house try to take any of your children’s special things that you can and keep on doing things the way they are used to as much as you can.

Even when things are difficult try to make some time every day to do the things you and your baby enjoy together – going for a walk, songs and stories, and keep on with your special times such as bedtime stories

If you are unable to do that yourself because of your own distress try and get support for yourself and support for your baby from someone they know. Extended families and friends can help by supporting parents. The effort you make now is part of building your baby’s strength for the future.

If a baby or young child continues to show signs of distress through changed behaviour and does not seem to be getting better it would be helpful to talk to an early childhood counsellor through your local child health service, or ring a parent help line for advice. If you are find that your own feelings are making it hard for you to go on with your daily living and care for your children as you want to it is worth talking to a counsellor yourself. Feelings such as inability to sleep, loss of interest in things you used to enjoy, easily getting angry, constantly reliving the trauma or ongoing feelings of depression and hopelessness can happen in these situations and professional help is important for your own sake as well as your children’s.

For more information see  Little listeners in a troubled world and the Circle of Trust. Both of these websites have very helpful information about caring for infants and young children after trauma.